


Unfortunately Hazy

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Dancing, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kuroos mentioned like twice lol, Lowercase, M/M, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Oops, Suicide, Yamaguchi Tadashi-centric, idk man, rooftop dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24536203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: a smaller, softer smile spread over his lips. he ignored the buzz of his phone and started his dance again.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 113





	Unfortunately Hazy

**Author's Note:**

> Hmmmmmmm sorry this isn't good it was kinda a vent but then I kept writing after I was better lmao, this is my first time publishing an actual work :') so I hope it's not TOO bad smh. Sorry it's kinda confusing, I'll clear some things up in the end notes. Anyways I'm doing this on mobile and am too tired to re-read it and I cried three times trying to post this because it's retarded so yuh
> 
> Song to listen to while reading is 'Mistakes Just Likes This' by Prelow :)

hazy.

that was the word. hazy. hazyhazyhazy.

tadashi repeated the word in his mind. his hazy mind. thoughts had rolled in like fog, hard to see through, thick and intrusive. but not unfriendly, just unfortunate.

everything felt hazy. the air, his skin, his clothes. all that sluggishly thick feeling. tadashi couldn't say he hated it, it was peaceful if he were to be honest. peaceful and satisfying yet unfortunately but calmly melancholic. but distracting enough to be better then the feeling of anxiety pulsing through him at other times. those times were hazy too, but in the more hot and sweaty, less calm and cool way.

he couldn't remember the last time he felt this way. wait, ah, he could. unfortunate.

the last time the star speckled boy had felt this way was when he had happened. the certain him referred was kei. tsukishima kei. tadashi wished he couldn't remember.

kei was his friend, a childhood friend who had saved him from bullies and somehow grew a tolerable feeling towards the olive headed boy. tadashi adored his time with kei. until his heart started beating a little bit faster when the blond was near, until his cheeks would heat up and his head felt like it would explode, his skin felt molten under every slight almost touch from his friend. his friend. only friend. and friend only. the feeling pulsed through him. at the time he disliked it, but soon enough it would become his friend

'of course, only i would be stupid enough to fall for my best friend' the boy had sighed, staring at his bedroom ceiling, guilt taking over the giddy emotion that had spread through him before kei had left. 'an idiot indeed.' he thought before forcing himself to sleep, dreading the next day already.

the song hummed through tadashi's mind, blaring through his earbuds into his ears. calmingly working its way through his veins until the boy sitting on the rooftop had started humming along. the lyrics worming through his ears. it was calming, it fit his current mood. 

a smile plastered onto his face, it wasn't fake, just strange. tadashi couldn't help but giggle. a giggle that could only mean 'ah how silly, of course that would happen!' in the most unfortunate way possible. the boy stood up, stretching out his back, arms raised over his head as a content groan pulled from his lips. his mind was still hazy. but now in the drunkenly sluggish, mindless way. his thoughts couldn't seem to stay put long enough to fully process. he remembered the last time he felt like this. 

kei had always been there for him. well, physically. the blond seemed to ignore basically everything around him most times. that didn't stop tadashi from rambling on trying to make conversation. all attempts seemed futile now that he thought of it, never bearing the fruit he wished to receive. unfortunate.

the haze turned into a thick smog now. clogging up his mind with thoughts that had previously rolled past. the song still hummed through his ears, he found himself singing along and staring at the stars that tainted him from above. 

"i'm not confused, it's just you're making me think.."

his voice cracked slightly near the end, not from current tears, there were none, in fact tadashi's eyes were rather dry. it was more likely from the tears that had already happened. he shook his head slightly and just tucked his phone further into his hoodie pocket and adjusting his earbuds. 

the smog reduced to a slight mist. gently coating the bottom of his brain, the thoughts still there, just less intense. the star faced boy found himself twirling around, dancing to the song. his shoes scraped at the roofs concrete floor as he lazily swayed to the beat. his eyes closed as he did, the melody hummed from his lips.

he remembered the day it all went to shit. unfortunate.

kei had been the one to start the conversation first. a small, "what do you think of..." had mumbled from the blonds lips, the sentence never finished. tadashi tilted his head, replying quickly. kei stared at him before continuing hesitantly. tadashi's heart ached. 

"what do i think of kuroo-san? nekomas captain? hm, i'm not sure tsukki! he's kinda intimidating if i were honest..."

the blond just nodded. tadashi wished he hadn't noticed the faint blush dust his friends cheeks at the mention of the other teams captain. he wanted to yell. make his friend notice how he had waited for him. but then what would that make him? an annoying, rude self-proclaimed friend of the blond that now had a massive crush on him? hm, that seemed about right. of course he had been holding tsukki back. that night tadashi decided to ignore his feelings. ignore the pain of the past, ignore the hurt his friend had caused with his ignorance and silence. ignore the ache that itched at his mind every time he watched his best friend smile at the bedheaded boy when he couldn't have made him smile instead.

the disgustingly vile feeling of dread as he watched everyone around him use him as a filler, a background character used for minor things. he ignored the hate burrowing deep within himself as he was tossed aside once more. left to fend for himself, blinded and thrashing. 

said olive headed boy was still twirling on the roof top. the stars above twinkled tauntingly, as if daring him to join them. tadashi's eyes trailed over the sky, before looking at the surrounding buildings. he just huffed slightly before tracing the toe of his shoe in a semi circle around him and continuing his self promenade. 'everything is fine!' his foggy mind sung before focusing back on the song.

'wanna give back the things that i never take,'

he hummed the next verse allowed.

"and i know you don't care,"

as the last note exited his now slightly parted lips one of his feet rose to his hip, a finger gently plucking the back of his shoe off and letting it fall to the floor before repeating with the other. he hummed to tune of the next part as his now socked only covered feet gently landed on the edge of the building, he twirled around it, dancing once more. his eyes didn't venture to the intimidating drop near him. instead they closed. he remembered his mistake from the day before. a pang of guilt rang through his chest. he shrugged it off.

"what's with you? you've been weird lately.."

"i'm not sure what you mean tsukki, am i being weird?"

"stop lying. what's your problem?"

"mm, nothing of your concern."

"how would you know? just spit it out."

"don't wanna!" he said in a singsong voice, then chuckled. the blond didn't look amused.

"fine. be that way. i'm going to see kuroo. you can walk home by yourself." the blond said, noticing the ever so slightly visible deflation the other went through at the mention of the raven haired. 

"ah, jealousy's an ugly thing. you're still my best friend so quit it."

"that's not the problem, i'll see you tomorrow tsukki."

tadashi had jogged off before tsukishima could reply. he had cringed at the rage burning up inside him. he had tried so hard and yet he let himself slip. unfortunate.

the memory caused the boy to cringe. he almost lost his footing as he did, quickly waving his arms to rebalance himself and avoid falling to the streets below. after, he quickly fished out his phone and left the song on repeat. exiting the app he prepared to turn off his phone when a notification caught his eye. 

from: tsukki🦕  
2:34 am  
where are you? your house is empty, it's late. 

what was tsukki doing at his house? strange, he must've had a fight with kuroo again. unfortunate. he thought for a second before typing out a quick reply and sending it before he could second guess it.

to: tsukki🦕  
3:02 am  
sorry! busy rn but u shouldn't worry about me! i'll be out of your hair shortly :)

he shoved the offending device back into his pocket. focusing back on the song. his mind returned to that satisfyingly hazy state. a smaller, softer smile spread over his lips. he ignored the buzz of his phone and started his dance again. 

"but we're too damn sober, for mistakes like this.."

the star boy twirled one last time as he hummed out the lyrics, before standing with his back facing the ledge, and letting himself fall backwards, and into the haze of the city. unfortunate indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> So basically tadashi is vibin on a roof listening to music and reflecting ig?? Sorry if it's not clear what parts are flashbacks, that's kinda what I wanted to do while writing it lol. Hate making kei the bad guy bc I love this ship but I was in a mood bleh. I hope it was worth reading 
> 
> Anyways I should probably introduce myself, I'm Giri! Again, this is my first time posting a finished work so I hope it was worth your time :)


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